Being the Woman You Want to Be is Not as Hard as You are Making it

I was exhausted every morning. Like EVERY morning. Mark used to say to our girls

"Mommy's allergic to mornings ... Coffee helps."

He really didn't like talking to me until I had my coffee, so much so that he (a non-coffee drinker, mind you) would make it for me, like every morning. I'd wake with a steaming cup sitting on the bedside table.

That's just how life was lived ... coffee powered mornings, kept moving by coffee fueled days, followed by wine drinking evenings, settling into wine sipping late nights. Each of these days I would start by saying, 

"I really need to go to bed early tonight."

Then I really never did. I would wake up the next morning exhausted. Like really tired, but no problem ... there's coffee.  In those days, coffee and wine helped make my life seem easier because it felt so very hard.

Reality was, I was making it hard.  I wanted to be a woman that was not tired, that went to bed early and that had energy of her own making.  I wanted what felt impossible, for life to be easy.  Instead I was always tired, I stayed up late and I needed coffee. Instead I was making life hard.

If you find yourself saying ...

"Let's meet at 7pm for dinner," but instead you arrive 30 minutes late all the time ...
"I really just want to meet a nice guy," but you are unkind to yourself ...
"I want to lose weight," but utter "I don't like to exercise or eat vegetables" in the same sentence ...
"I'm so tired," but require coffee to get your day started ...

If you find yourself wanting [fill in the blank], but instead you [fill in the blank] ...

You are making it hard to be the woman you want to be and being the woman you want to be is not as hard are you are making it.

We know what we want. We say it all the time, but instead we do something else. Start doing what you say you want to do and notice how easy life becomes.

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